Green side up

The future is going to be just fine, don’t worry about it. A future you will wear a medical patch that monitors and helps heal you.

It cracks me up when people think they are going to educate me about jesus and cancer. Look, you monkeys, if I haven’t been converted in 74 years don’t you think you will be wasting your time? Believe me when I say I don’t have any problem dying without your fucking god, deal with it.

As for cancer, I know it is bad stuff but isn’t all forms of dying bad and unwelcome? I have lost as many people to cancer as anyone else, four of them so far just this year. I just take a different view of it is all. A wife died a sudden death, no warning at all, poof, gone in minutes, just try dealing with shit like that.

A woman hired a contractor to repaint the interior of her house. The woman walked the man through the second floor of her home and told him what colors she wanted for each room. As they walked through the first room, the woman said, "I think I would like this room in a cream color."

 The contractor wrote on his clipboard, walked to the window, opened it and yelled out, "Green side up!" He then closed the window and continued following the woman to the next room. The woman looked confused, but proceeded with her tour. "In this room, I was thinking of an off blue." Again, the contractor wrote this down, went to the window, opened it and yelled out, "Green side up!"

This baffled the woman, but she was hesitant to say anything. In the next room, the woman said she would like it painted in a light rose color. And once more, the contractor opened the window and yelled, "Green side up!"

Struck with curiosity, the woman mustered up the nerve to ask, "Why do you keep yelling 'Green side up' out of my window each time I tell you what color I'd like a room?"
The contractor replied, "Because I have a crew of blondes laying turf across the street."