Friday, June 23, 2017

OUCH !!!












Boy, I had an epic battle with a turd yesterday, ejecting a breech birth turd is a sumbitch, especially one in cahoots with a vapor locked fart. It tried to turn my poor O’ asshole inside out. Not a pretty picture when the dam breaks. Poor O’ asshole.

Tim gave me some goat meat he smoked so I put some in a pot of beans with some bacon, sure smells good but I was in no shape yesterday to try some.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

HAHAHAHAHA















Where do the people in hell tell each other to go?

Working on a lawnmower on the back porch yesterday, Bobbie was out hanging up clothes and mentioned that a friends wife had died that night. “I’ve lost a number of friends recently, life is uncertain eat dessert first. What I can’t figure out is why in the fuck I’m still here.” 

She shot back with, “Maybe the good lord thinks you look cute in church.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

New Grill






I hope I like this sum bitch, it cost me thirty bucks, better not warp like my old one did. I’ll put the old one in the camper.

I now have more cum catchers than I do good tee shirts. Don’t like shopping for clothes but don’t wear tee shirts in Texas much anyway, only in the winter. In the summer you get as naked as possible.

Sometimes I wonder why I even bought something but I actually use my foot spa every few months for a good soak, and clip my toe nails.

Seems like milk and eggs are really cheap here, must be subsidized.

Monday, June 19, 2017

A beauty










Check out this beauty, I only planted two this year, next year I will plant more. I cut the head off of the first one too soon, I will let this one go until I get mature seeds. Think I will plant some giant sunflowers also.

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Just an other fucking Sunday.








All I caught yesterday was a damn turtle, a hard shell this time. I would love to have an empty shell but don’t feel like killing one for it. I was able to get the hook out without much damage and tossed it back.

Lots of turtles in the bayou, maybe folks should start eating them, but not me.

Like a dumb ass dipshit I left my favorite lawn chair at the fishing hole, when I went back four hours later it was still there, yea!!!

But check out what Jamie caught, over 100 pounds.

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Eat better











I’m trying to eat more healthy
Half a fucking zucchini, grated
Three fucking mushrooms, chopped up
One fucking egg, mixed in
A little fucking garlic salt
A little fucking seasoning salt
Cook on fucking stove
Fucking eat
Similar to something Carrol posted, Tastes pretty damn good,

Tim brought me some of his beans and corn bread, good fiber.

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Babies









Check this shit out, they just walked up to me and started sniffing around.