Tuesday, September 19, 2017


I’m reading a book by Donna Grant, she likes to say cock, bless her little heart.

Monday, September 18, 2017

New wheels

All right, now there is a PISSANT EXPRESS JR. After installing new battery’s I left the ‘body’ off for testing, it needs cleaning anyway, and I'm thinking of painting it a different color.

For no more than what is there the little bastard is heavy, must be well built. Top speed is only 3.5 MPH but maybe I can find some bigger wheels to make it a little faster.

Sunday, September 17, 2017

False fall

The false fall was nice while it lasted but it’s warmed up again.

Already horny and I whacked off just yesterday. Stupid little cock. I kinda miss Marie at times, her only hobby was fucking me.

The lady I bought an electric chair from was wearing a cool tee shirt. SARCASTIC COMMENT IN 3 - 2 – 1

They are doing some improvements at Fabis, should be nice when they are done, maybe safer for those fishing.

It is my humble fucking opinion that an egg salad sammich is better with ranch dressing than mayo.

Watching the first season of Home Improvement, it’s a fucking riot.

Saturday, September 16, 2017


I am seldom in a hurry anymore, just like to ease along and enjoy the day the best I can. So of course I piss off a lot of fucking monkeys driving around at twenty miles an hour on my little excursions away from the cave.

So today I’m going to go pick up a mobility chair, don’t need one yet but I will use it for many of my little trips around Monkeyville. As long as I’m fucking around on the sidewalks I won’t be pissing off the monkeys in the Monkeymobiles. You cocksuckers can thank me later.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017


Your future sex robot could be hacked and programmed to murder you…… Hahahaha

Monday, September 11, 2017

Life goes on...

Irma did not kill anyone wise enough to get out of harms way, meanwhile others were being born to replace the dead, life goes on.

Saturday, September 9, 2017

Just observing….

You know, watching the monkeys fuck around….

So, how are you monkeys doing?

Everyone knows that I’m a cheap sum bitch but I must admit that it was worth the extra money I spent on ceramic cookware. Being as I put a bigger battery in the rider it needed a hold down, I did that yesterday before it got hot.

Martha’s husband was cremated when he passed. Picking up the urn, she poured him out on the patio table. Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him. "You know that dishwasher you never got me? I bought it with the insurance money!" "That car you never got me? Well, I bought it with the insurance money!" "That diamond ring you never got me? Bought it too, insurance money!" Finally, she said, "Remember that blow job you wanted?" "Here it comes!!

Thursday, September 7, 2017


Seems pretty cool here for this time of year. 55 degrees this morning...

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

From a table to a chair

Can you convert a 220 volt dryer into a 110 volt dryer? No, unless you put a 110 volt motor in it.

She calls me honey but so what, she calls everyone honey.

If you want to try to save a drowned vehicle you should get it to a good bodyshop with a heated paint booth. ASAP….

At the fishing hole yesterday I wuz talking to an old guy when his wife called, after he hung up he said, "I don’t know why she wants me to go home, we don’t fuck anymore.” HAHAHAHA !!!! Cracked me up.

Someone left a small glass top table by a dumpster, but no top, so I decided to turn it into a cool yard chair. Have cut out a section and will find or make some cushions for it.

Saturday, September 2, 2017

Fucking weird

That big parking lot in front of Big Lots and TSC looks flat but driving across it is like being on a storm tossed sea or driving during an earthquake. It is fucking weird.

A couple came into the watering hole and was standing next to me at the bar and wondered where the bartender was, I said, “I got her excited and she went to masturbate.” They laughed, I amuse myself.

Was your vehicle in a flood on the coast? Put it in a big bowl of rice. LOL.

Wednesday, August 30, 2017


When we heard Harvey was coming a lady I know said that she didn’t give a crap if Houston was hit hard cuz it is an asshole town but she hoped Corpus Christi would be spared cuz it is a nice town.

I have no idea what either town is like but a 500 year flood is nothing anyone wants to see. But I guess it could be worse. South Asia monsoon flooding kills 1,200, displaces millions.

I don’t know what part of Houston Scotty Killmer lives in but he appears to be doing just fine. I’m a firm believer that humans shouldn’t populate coastal areas but they are going to do it anyway, and get their butts kicked at times.

$75.50 for new tabs for a 21 year old truck, that is bullshit.

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

So What?

If you get a Nielsen TV research pack in the mail open it, it has two dollars in it.

I hope they are careful about driving on dirt after that storm and floods, Texas mud swallows cars.

Monday, August 28, 2017

A joke

Fished for two hours yesterday, okay, I fed the fucking fish for two hours, seems like months since I’ve caught a fish.

Boy, the economy here must be pretty good. Going to Walmart yesterday was like going to the stockyards on a big sale day and the fences break down. There was big heifers and their calves everywhere, and some random bulls wandering around looking confused,  the place was packed.

Got some buttermilk biscuits, how do they get 380 calories in one damn biscuit?

Sunday, August 27, 2017


Having hurricane parties is an odd concept too me but I guess a lot of people do it. Of course Texans are crazy.

I have to admire Texans, generally speaking they are hard headed but also tough and resilient. Except for a few crybabies that are whining all the time.

Have only seen three reported deaths cuz of Harvey so Katrina is still the queen of recent storms. I wonder what drama the news monkeys will bring us next.

I guess that all of the things I’ve been through and seen in this life that it has made me cynical.

Nice to have the doors open for fresh air in August, the storm cooled it down some here.

Ed McMillan brought me an other dozen farm eggs, cool, will steam some to take fishing. The news media can come up with dramas faster than we can deal with them.

Saturday, August 26, 2017

Another storm

Everyone choosing to live on coastal areas must realize that nature is going to kick their asses at times, in very expensive ways. Nature can kick ass anywhere but the odds increase a lot on the coasts. I like to visit them but would never live on one. At my age I’ve seen it all a number of times so too me it is just shit that happens that we have no control over. I suppose lots of folks stayed put to ride it out but I’m not sure that is wise.

Those that are always online complaining about their pain and discomfort are a pain in the butt.

On a walk yesterday I spotted a shopping cart some moron abandoned, being the fine bastard I am I returned it to the store.

A single rotation of a wind turbine can produce enough energy to power one home for 40 hours…. If that is true I’m impressed.

Friday, August 25, 2017

Some day a stump

Worked at the lot for a bit yesterday but soon got too warm so didn’t get a lot done, came home and it was only 75 degrees so guess it was just me. 85 percent humidity doesn’t help.

Just one big branch left on that old tree, when it breaks off it won’t be much of a hazard anymore.

Going to hell in every religion is a Facefuck group, I like it.

At the bayou yesterday I sat and talked to Gary for a while, he hasn’t been catching anything but those damn turtles.

I’ve been in a lot of acts of nature but never a tropical storm, it won’t get this far anyway but we may get some rain from it.

Thursday, August 24, 2017


I swiped the following from a blog, food for thought I guess.

While I was visiting some blogs this morning and came upon a picture of a contortionist sucking his cock. Just try to get that picture out of your mind.

Tuesday, August 22, 2017


When posting pictures of their cute young daughters I wonder if women are thinking, “I want to show off my cute future cocksucker.” No, I don’t suppose they think like that.

I find it odd that Walmart considers kayaks and inflatables and things like that to be seasonal, out of stock already and there is plenty of summer and fall left here. This town needs a good sporting goods store.

Outlet ?

That sign never makes any fuking sense to me, what the hell do they mean by NO OUTLET? People just go down it and stay there forever? Pretty damn sure you can just turn around and drive back out.

So I took the new boat to the bayou yesterday to test it, didn’t need a speed boat but most of them are, boys like fast toys. Can get it to run sort of slower but within minutes I misjudged a turn and grounded it on the other side of the bayou. Wasn’t anyone there with a boat so I went to the caretakers house and he sent his daughter out in a kayak to retrieve it for me. Bless her little heart, wouldn’t even take any money for it.

The motors are big and powerful, maybe I’ll trim the propellers some to slow it down.

I guess I should at least get a float tube to go after my fuckup’s.

Monday, August 21, 2017

A bridge

Went to see the Regency Bridge yesterday, cuz of bad directions I wandered around on the wrong country roads for a while before I found it. My GPS didn’t find it either. Didn’t take a picture of it, you can fucking Google the cocksucker. You can toss a rock across that mighty fucking river.

Someone put a fold up step by the dumpster, one end of it was missing for some reason. Never seen one like it before but things to sit or step on are always handy and I didn’t see any point in it going to the landfill so I made a new end for it. It doesn’t fold up anymore but that is okay.

I didn’t know that some folks call rattlesnakes buzz worms.

Sunday, August 20, 2017

A drone?

Was thinking of buying a drone, they seem cool, then logic returned, I’d likely just jerk or dunk it into the water so I got a radio controlled boat to get my bait where I want it. Only place in town that had one is Harbor Freight, this town needs a hobby shop.

Seeing a lot of racist posts lately, frankly, I think I’m too fucking white and would like some darker pigment in my skin. Other than that I think we all look alike inside.

Took another forty bucks out of my game account so that is cool.

Saturday, August 19, 2017


The only protests I’ve ever attended. Yes, that is me.

Do you feel a disturbance in the farce? Hum, interesting.

An Irishman who had a little to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over.

"So," says the cop to the driver, "where have you been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course" slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening".

"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

Friday, August 18, 2017


Kedrin Deetz came by to take me for a ride in his Slingshot, and I’m telling you that is one wicked sumbitch. I haven’t been in anything like that since my thirties. That monster peels rubber and slips sideways in forth gear and fifth is no slouch either.

It is pretty damn cool but I’m not in the market for one at my age, I just like to fart along slow on back country roads these days. An ATV would be more suited for me now. But I like the side by side seats in it, ya can still get to your gals tits.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017


Went to the end of Austin Ave, it turned into a county road. A few miles down it is a stand of bamboo, I shit you not. Don’t think it is high quality stuff good enough for fishing poles though. I like to wander around on the county roads.

If you are visiting TexAss, or too poor for a fishing license and want to do a little fishing you don’t need a license if you use a cane pole, I shit you not. You can buy one at Walmart for four bucks but they are only ten feet long.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

What year is it?

Why is this white supremacists shit still around? My calendar says it is 2017, who is teaching this shit? No one has superior genes, no such thing as a superior race, we are all flawed, most of us don’t even make it a hundred years.

My first born is one quarter Indian and one hell of a fine woman so fuck ya.

I guess they make better benders but my old Osterizer won’t die.

Monday, August 14, 2017


GOOD NEWS !!! Nothing stupid going on here, that I know of. Yup, seems pretty peaceful here.

Haven’t seen anything about Bigfoot for a while, I hope he is okay.

I’m thinking that as old cars become hard to get that demolition derby’s will become a thing of the past. But I could be full of shit.