My Garmin GPS is ten or so years old and never been updated, Google maps may be better but I use the damn Garmin cuz my cell phone plan doesn’t play well with Google. Anyway, it gets me in a bit of trouble at times cuz of all the road construction always going on. Folks using GPS all the time often name their units so mine is Cocksucker.
Anita’s boys are computer geeks and make decent money mostly working for the movie industry so Zack upgraded my software, that cost me over fifty bucks so now I guess I have an improved Cocksuckter GPS. But it is still a fucking idiot, as I recall it is programmed to take the shortest routes, I’m still dumb enough to follow a females voice at times so you should have saw the way she took me through Lubbock, all the while I’m calling her a stupid cocksucker, The Garmin doesn’t have a microphone so there is no repercussion cuz I’m calling her a stupid cocksucker while she goes on and on and on about recalculating.
Cocksucker NEVER tells me to flip a U turn if I fuck up and miss a turn, nope, she’ll take me three miles out of route just to keep going forward while she tries to figure out which alleys and dirt roads to take me down to get back on the route she has decided on. And sometimes Cocksucker has me leave the freeway and then puts me right back on it four miles later, I guess cuz it cuts twenty five feet off the trip and I’m going, “What the fuck did we just do?”
I’ll keep using Cocksucker cuz she is handy at times like finding a Motel 6 or Arby’s but I sure wouldn’t depend on the bitch if my life depended on it, I’ll switch her to pick the fastest routes, maybe that would be an improvement being as there is no ‘sane’ choice.
Have a fucking blessed day….
Glad you are back! Did the vehicle work well the whole trip? I am wagering yes.
ReplyDeleteTrips a great, but getting home is always good too.
PipeTobacco
The Silver Slut did a great job on the trip.
DeleteWe still rely on paper maps. Heard a few too many stories about a GPS sending someone down a set of railroad tracks or on to country roads that the DOT re-routed or stopped maintaining 20 or 30 years ago. While we were at Pictured Rocks this fall one of the campers there, a huge Class A, was told by its GPS to take an ATV trail instead of the county highway. They were lucky and didn't get stuck out in the middle of nowhere, but only because some local people on ATVs stumbled across them and pointed them in the right direction.
ReplyDeleteMy GPS has done that to me a few times and my paper travel atlas is old so I need a new one.
DeleteAbout time you checked in, northbound trips in the winter can turn into a shitstorm.
ReplyDeleteI ran into snow a few times and only have street tires on the Silver Slut but she did well on the snow and ice.
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