Flat

Went out to go to the liquor store on Wednesday and had a flat tire so I said fuck it, I don’t need brandy that bad, it can wait until tomorrow. I took my compressor out too air it up yesterday then I drove it to Discount Tire. It was a tire I had put a plug in and they don’ like that shit. They still had a bit over 50 percent tread but I decided I wanted a different tread for the Texas highways so I had them install four new tires with a different tread.

Of course after spending a lot of money I didn’t need too yet my windshield wiper system went clusterfuck so I have to sort that out now and I will, that truck and I have gotten old together and I’m sticking with it as it has served me well over the years. 

Of all the blonde jokes, this one has to be one of the best -- because it makes football make sense!
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but
I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was... 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'
I'm like...Helloooooo?
She’s like….It's only 25 cents!!!!