I generally don’t give a shit what is going on in the left lanes on multi lane roads. Pretty much got speed out of my system back in my racing days and these days I tend to do 60 mph even when the speed limit is higher. Of course I respectfully stay in the right lane like I’m supposed to do, if I happen to be on a one lane road and the speed limit is higher than 60 mph and someone comes up behind me if at all possible I move over and drive on the shoulder so they can pass, I’m just a respectful sum bitch that way, to keep this fucking monkey experiment speeding along ya know.
But I wasn’t in a great mood to start with on Thursday and my chore that day was to take Tim to some doctors appointments in Fort Worthless. Just one of the things I do to help others. We had plenty of time to get there but I was in a rare frame of mind to make some fucking time and wanted to peg the speed limit all the way there.
And way too many of you cocksucking motherfucking monkeeeeys where getting in my fucking way. Why in the fuck are you hanging out in the left lane at 62 mph when the speed limit is 75 mph? It really irritates spirit when one of you cocksucking motherfucking monkeeeeys decides to hover in the left lane next to another cocksucking motherfucking monkeeeey in the right lane and you are both doing the same speed ten or fifteen miles under the fucking speed limit.
If you cocksucking motherfucking monkeeeeys want to hang out together pull off the highway and find a bar or DQ, or get a fucking room. And learn how to use a fucking cruise control, it irritates spirit when you cocksucking motherfucking monkeeeeys keep varyinging your speed ten mph and I have to keep changing my cruise control setting. KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF !!!
I’m driving Tim’s pickup on such days, do you think I give a shit if I ding his front bumper up shoving your stupid ass ahead of me at the posted speed limit? Might think twice about that. Cocksucking motherfucking monkeeeeys, when I wanna make time stay out of my fucking way.
THANK YOU
(fuck you)
Have a blessed fucked up day, go kick it in the ass
Someone put a broken camping chair in the dumpster, I think I can fix it.
ReplyDeleteI can understand the annoyance! In my area the most aggravating time is in September through about November when the major route off campus (about three miles of road that also passes by most of the dorms) is infiltrated with all the international students who just bought a car and never drove before. The road is set at an easy 45 mph, but these kids are clueless and scared out of their minds about driving apparently, and crawl along at 10-15 mph. This happens for the whole of these three months every year and when you are running to an appointment, or just wanting to get home to have a beer.... It can drive you insane. It is a single lane road so passing is impossible, and it really is just about the only route out.
ReplyDeleteThis town has about four times the streets on it than the town I came from so traffic here generally flows along pretty smooth and I'm never in a hurry here anyway and allow myself a little extra time when going places so if there is a bottle neck it doesn't bother me. Commerce street gets busy at times but that is to be expected, it is a main highway in and out of town.
ReplyDeleteSee now. You have reinforced your reason for driving 60. Now your bowels are in an uproar, and for what? Because the motherfuckin monkeys were just doing what they always do. Trying to mess with your mind. And you let them.
ReplyDeleteDidn't upset me that much, just something to post about.
DeleteI just ordered a used copy of the book you mentioned to me. I somehow remember it though I have not read it.... when you described it. It sounds good to me. I should get it Monday or Tuesday. Thank you for suggesting it!
ReplyDeleteI laughed so fucking hard I had to change my clothes. DAYUM! Anywho, I frequent the I-35 on my way up to Austin when my husband/sexy beast doesn't like driving through there. Those dumb ass motherfucking monkeys are crazy up there. It makes me have to resort to driving like someone living in El Paso. Now those MFM's are crazier than shit when they drive.
ReplyDelete