Cuz I wrote it

I took the time to write this so I’m going to fucking post it. I’m not dealing well with getting old, in fact it flat out sucks. Years ago, when Helen’s son was dying I wrote about dying with grace and dignity. Now I’m questioning just how much effort should be put into trying to prolong life, at what point should you just say fuck it and stop trying.

Being a veteran most of my health care is through the VA and the clinic here is top notch, maybe one of the best VA clinics in the country. But I wonder just how much the taxpayers should spend on my sorry ass just because I served for just over four years. Considering my two bad habits I’m not sure it should be all that much.

I’m not keen on trying to live to long but just dying a natural death, as long as it isn’t very painful but my doctor seems to be intent on helping me live until the last possible effort is put into it and I simply have to give up.

I see people trying to keep going longer all the time, even thinking they will get better, and their last months are terrible.

I now have some nitroglycerin pills, reading the cautions will cure you of taking most pills. Interesting that most folks I know that use them also drink.

I just want to die peacefully in my sleep, not screaming like the passengers in my car.

Have a blessed fucking day.
Carry on, godfuckingdamnit.