Cell Phones

Did you notice that yesterdays post didn’t have any fucking cuss words in it?

If you died today would you go to heaven or Hoboken? No, I won’t go to church with you, I have checked out many kinds of churches over the years, was even on the board of trusties at one and it is all bullshit. I see no point in congregating with sheep.

Had lunch with Shawn yesterday and she showed me how things look and work on her android phone being as I’m getting one on Friday. Boy cell phones are weird compared to  computers. It’ll take forever to learn things on it. Maybe I’ll buy a cell phones for Dummies book, I love those books but they are getting expensive.

Carry the fuck on…

What we need here is a FELLOWSHIP OF THE AGNOSTICS, about all we have now is hanging out in a bar or at a campfire with fellow agnostics. Well, there is a beer church in Seattle so we got that going for us also.

In Canada, Justin Trudeau Says Refugees Are Welcome. Hum, then they can sneak into this country, that boarder is like a sponge. Of course yesterday some of them got killed in Quebec.

I bought a bamboo plant, for no other reason than the fact that it was only two bucks. I suppose it is a Lucky Bamboo plant, they are a fake bamboo, I don’t know shit about them, it’s going to die. LOL

Gene got a dog yesterday, a real nice border collie, name of Bear, female, very friendly, I wonder how long it will be before they are at odds with each other, hell, I can’t picture any animal, including humans living with him.

Brandie Stevens birthday was yesterday, I brought a piece of her cake home to eat this morning. Life is uncertain, eat dessert.

“Life is a bitch and she ain’t even hot.” “Also we’re going to build a wall up there in Canada to keep the all liberals from leaving although they probably should.” LOL

Carry the fuck on…

Janitor at Peep show

I’m an interesting sumbitch to those that get me.

Occupation: Janitor at Peep show… Hahaha, Tony is a funny guy.

A lot of folks call me Sir, I’m beginning to wonder if that is a code word for Asshole. LOL

My bed is a mess every morning so last night I set up my game cam to see what is going on, fuck, I am a busy sumbitch at night.

Carry the fuck on…

Sitting on the pot

Multitasking can be tricky at times. Yesterday morning I was running water into the sink getting ready to clean up and decided to take a shit. Then decided to clean the toilet some so grabbed the cloth I use for that and dipped it in the sink and washed my face with it, “Ah fuck, this is the cloth for the toilet.” LOL

Shawn Leslie Smith is the winner of the free lunch, Well, not exactly free, has to try to teach me something

Hum, you can use a keyboard and mouse on a cell phone, that would help me a lot. And next week I’m buying a new phone, one without Win 8.1 on it.

I hope I’m wrong but I sense that Willie will be moving on this year. Gene also concerns me, he is the king of denial about his drinking.

Carry the fuck on…

The cowboy and the lady

Bobbie is pretty much a prude so I was a bit surprised when I went over and asked her to put some lotion on my back and she said sure. But what the hell, she was a nurse.

Austin as you know is the capital of Texas and they seem to take pride in being different and weird. Well what the hell, it is known in some circles as Planet Texas, plenty of things are different than any other state I have lived in.

When a strange woman fumbles with her hair it is a pretty sure bet she is interested in you, this wise old man knows that. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89v1OiHGdLQ">THE COWBOY AND THE LADY.</a>

Carry on, godfuckingdamnit.

Fucking Honkey's

Hahaha, amusing myself. That picture was taken around 12 years ago on Vicki’s birthday when I was dating her. We also worked together at times. I suppose someone will see it as honky racist crap but this honky has never minded a little jabbing. Vicki? Ah, never got anywhere with her, great lady though, hard worker.

Got a new starter for the truck yesterday but it was too cold to change it. Should be able to but it has got to where my fingers go numb when working with cold tools and parts and 55 degrees isn’t all that cold.

Oh well, maybe the starter will keep working until it is warmer but meanwhile it is handy in case I am forced to change it, or pay some young person to change it.

Carry on, godfuckingdamnit.

Ah, that

Got some decent top soil yesterday. And some sand.

Carry on, godfuckingdamnit.

What a majestic cock

God likes to have his dick sucked some at times. I was told that god feels more benevolent.  toward those women that loves sex and sucks his dick at times. Any dick will do, they are all part of the spirit. God has a majestic cock, yes? Oh, and Jesus, what a fine fucking cock.

Carry on, godfuckingdamnit.

That time

It is that time of year again, better buy some fucking cookies.

Boy, Gene swears that he didn’t drink much Saturday evening but he looks and feels like he stumbled into a reunion of his ex’s and they all had potato smashers and chains and such, that boy needs to start slowing down.

Don’t hitch your star to a procrastinator, your life will not get much of anywhere, just saying.

I could say glorious things without swear words but what in the fuck would be the point in that?

Carry on, godfuckingdamnit.

Yup, another Sunday

 “My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.” HAHAHAHAHAHA. Just some humor, don’t have a girlfriend. Have sort of known a woman since moving here but she is set on marrying a rich man so she doesn’t pay any attention to the rest of us. I predict that she will still be single ten years from now, be an old spinster.

There is no rule in this universe that the spirits have to believe in the gods in the books a bunch of monkeys wrote. If you must pray go ahead but don’t pray to my god cuz she doesn’t give a shit.

Do religious people really live longer? There is no proof of that at all, agnostics often out live them. The dogma that there is a god out that cares about you is just foolish thinking cowboy up. While believers waste time praying agnostics are busy doing what they need to do to keep on keeping on, and helping others.

I don’t like it when others thank god when I help them, fuck god, it wasn’t that worthless bastard that did the work, but I repeat myself. I haven’t prayed since I was a teenager and learned that crap just doesn’t work. If there was a god that gave a crap about you you wouldn’t need the help of others.

You know why a lot of young folks aren’t making much progress on bettering their lives? Social media, it is like a mental illness they are addicted to. Spend way too much time on it myself but at least I’m retired so it isn’t like I have work hard at life anymore.

Carry on….

My life in a cartoon, yup, have pretty much lived that way. Lots of experiences and lots of lessons.

I wonder when the Trump lovers will start to realize that they have been conned. It's funny how liberals are all about acceptance, but can't accept any of this.

“You’re not supposed to drive back here, Billy.” “Well, Bobbie, I learned years ago that it is easier to ask for forgiveness if I get caught than it is to ask for permission.”

It works

A desperate looking woman stood poised on the edge of a high bridge, about to jump off.
An old homeless guy who was wandering by stopped and said,
"Look, since you'll be dead in a few minutes, and it won't matter to you, how about a quickie before you go?"
She screamed, "NO! Bug off you filthy old bastard!"
He shrugged and turned away saying, "Okay then, I'll just go and wait at the bottom."
She didn't jump.
Object lesson: Suicide counseling really does work

A knack

I have a knack for ticking off believers but I don’t know how to talk snowflake. They just get under my skin, I want them to be smarter than that and it is hard to ignore them, especially if I like them. The wise ones at least keep their beliefs to themselves.

My best friends have always been agnostics and atheists and we have always been able to depend on each other when we need help, we just roll up our sleeves and get shit done and we don’t argue about some bogeyman in the sky.

I’ve gotten too complex for ‘intellectuals’ to understand, what is with that?

“new toddler-in-charge,” A reference to Trump. Hahahahaha…. Well, we survived eight years of Bush, we’ll survive four or eight years of Trump but it wouldn’t surprise me if he gets pissed off and quits.

I was watching some tree service guys take down a huge tree that was hanging over an apartment building. Using long ropes and such, pretty interesting, they are good but they sure are slow, I couldn’t afford them, it took three of them (a few times five) four days to do it.

“A long time ago in a galaxy far far away someone else might have given a fuck.” Carrie Fisher ... LOL... Love that, never saw it before.

Well behaved women seldom make history.

I've seen a few

I’ve seen women like this, they sort of amuse me.

That new washing machine is pretty impressive but I hope the hell it lasts a while cuz there isn’t much on it I could fix. It is computerized. Put it on Power Wash and an extra rinse and it takes over an hour but it sure does a nice job, my clothes are cleaner than ever.

Facefuck groups, some of you people are fools, if you are living with someone and join a singles group your partner is going to discover that fact sooner or later. Why do you do stupid stuff like that? It’s no wonder that some relationships have so much trouble.

At least I’m not completely worthless yet.

Yesterday I was able to pull the guts out of Gene’s table saw and clean and lube things up so it would work again. It took me almost four hours but at least I was able to do it.

If you are still following me and I haven’t pissed you off yet stick around, I’ll get around to it sooner or later.

I was shown the future of voting, you monkeys are screwed. You’ll go to a site like one of those silly profile sites you are always going to that you somehow think are fun and click on a button that says VOTE and it will vote for you based on analyzing your profile and what you post.

Hahahahahahaha

They be flowers

Yes they are, but don’t piss them off.

Remember…..Woman, if she ain’t happy you ain’t happy.

Good news

Good news, my gaming account at the bar went over a hundred bucks again so I pulled another sixty bucks out of it. I’m now 120 bucks ahead of the game.

Oh hell, lets pray. “Dear god, send poontang.” Hahahahaha
Carry on, godfuckingdamnit.

Reminds me of cats.

I agree with Trump that we need good ties with Russia, we need good ties with all other countries. Never happen but it is a wonderful thought.

Germany appears to be enjoying the muslims there, hahahahaha.

Supposed to warm up some now, good, I’m not worth a damn in the cold anymore, my fingers go numb and I can’t work with them. This getting old shit is bullshit. Plus I hate to admit to getting old. Enjoy your youth while you have it.

Carry on, godfuckingdamnit.

Gods

It is stupid to think that a god may or should favor you, the only thing I depend on is other people.

My heater works fine now but the thermostat is a piece of crap, the temp will vary as much as ten degrees.

Carry on, godfuckingdamnit.

Brain

Kind of lopsided, my brain, I’m also left handed.

The heater ran pretty much full time yesterday and this morning it is 18 degrees according to my outside thermometer, good thing it isn’t any colder.

They didn’t deliver my new washing machine, it was damaged in shipping, will be a few more days before they get another one here.

Have a blessed fucking day, go kick it in the ass

Lunch

I was in the men’s room taking a piss when a lady walked in but before I could welcome her she quickly backed out. Anyway, we had lunch in Arlington at a pizza place yesterday that has a lunch buffet, and a salad bar. I’m a world class critic when it comes to pizza joints but it was pretty good stuff.

One selection was particularly good, had green olives on it, really added some good flavor to it.

I judge if I’m eating enough based on how much I shit. But that could be misleading, maybe what I eat doesn’t have enough of the stuff my body needs so it just shits it out. I ponder on things like that.

Have a blessed fucking day, go kick it in the ass

2017

Five days into it, what is fucked up so far?

Some religious nuts have said that they will dance on my grave. I've now arranged to have my ashes buried at sea.

I was sitting at the bar sipping a beer when a mans phone said, “You have another fucking text message.” Hahahahaha

Got a voice mail saying they would deliver my new washing machine today but I won’t be here. Called them back and of course got sent to voice mail. Maybe they will just leave it on the front porch for me? Or take it to Home Depot so I can pick it up there tomorrow?

I’m going to Fort Worthless today, I hope the monkeys keep the left lanes clear in case I’m in a hurry.

Have a blessed fucking day, go kick it in the ass

Getting old is not an option

It happens to anyone that doesn’t die young. I just can’t do some of the things I used to do so well anymore, been trying to help a young couple get an old Ford van running, most mechanics hate working on them. One problem is that he had removed the fuel pump to install a new one. Those bastards are hard to install lying on your back but I don’t have a hoist to put it up in the air with so I can work on it standing up.

But I’m a crafty old bastard with 50 years of experience at wrenching and remembered one of my old tricks. I went to the hardware store and bought a foot of 3/8 inch threaded rod and two nuts. Made two three inch studs and shoved the pump on them and then sucked it up against the block with the nuts. Never underestimate a crafty old bastard when it comes to getting a job done.

Getting weaker and less dexterous may be a given but determination and being crafty can help overcome some of that.

LOOK ! ! !

I'M A FUCKING NUN ! !

Hahahahahaha

She is okay

Talked to Christina in the park this morning, she was away for a while, visiting her father.

Have a Happy New Fear

No, I didn’t misspell it, you will find things to worry about this year.  And if you want to make God laugh tell him your plans, I would never share any of my plans with that bastard, he likes to fuck with his followers. I’m an enthusiastic agnostic, but so was Carrie Fisher.

Sure, things are going to hell but I can’t fix them so they’ll just have to go to hell. Hey, just relax and take care of your life and everything should be fine. It’s going to be a fine fucking train wreck. LOL

I figure that 2017 will be fair enough to me and if I bitch about not having a girlfriend tell me to shut the fuck up.

Having decided to let my hair grow long for a while I have to decide how to somewhat manage it, you know, trim it some, don’t want to look like a wild man.

My journey is not your journey, you lucky shits, most of you couldn’t handle my journey without going insane. What do I want for 2017? I want to catch more fish.

Okay, lets go kick 2017 in the ass.